Note fromPastor: “Putting Off Procrastination” Part 3
It’s easy as Christians to say, “I know what causes my struggles: sin!” But we often use that as a go-to excuse for not changing, to simply shift the blame to someone or something else. As the Scriptures began to expose my procrastinating heart I could see internal reasons: pride, laziness, fear in the form of people-pleasing, pleasure-seeking and escapism. As I considered these heart issues, the catharsis I expected didn’t really come; after all, how can I even begin to make a dent in something like “pride?” I began to think about all the external pressures related to my procrastinating ways. Sometimes I really did have unreasonable amounts of work to do. Even when I planned ahead and began early, the work would expand to fill the time. Unexpected events did really cause me to wait until the last minute sometimes, and that last-minute work was actually pretty good. I found myself making an “if only” list of all the circumstances that would make it all better if only they changed: “if our financial situation was better, once the kids get a little older, once things slow down at work, then I’ll be able to have a better prayer life, then I’ll be able to get things done around the house, then I’ll be able to get more involved at church.” But then I noticed my “if only” list grew a bit more sinister: “If my wife was a different person, then I could be more disciplined. If my friends cared enough to grill me about stuff, then I wouldn’t struggle so much. If my parents had modeled better work habits for me, I’d be light-years ahead by now.” I noticed that I had a “go-to list of excuses:” “I’m too tired today, I’ll just do it tomorrow. I’ll begin tomorrow, today is already gone. The first of the week is a better time to start. I’ll set the alarm and do it first thing in the morning.” I could now see the internal heart issues of pride, laziness, and escapism showing up outside of my heart in my words and actions. I could clearly see my foolish rationalizing and self-deception, and I began to despair, but still clung to the vain hope that things might get better if I could just “get my head on straight.” Noticing that my heart idols were driving my thinking and behavior, I realized that my procrastination was a theological issue addressed by God in Scripture, and by God’s grace, I began to confront my lack of confidence in some essential truths of the Christian faith. The most significant was my tendency to doubt that God could change me at all, which itself was an expression of my pride. I didn’t doubt my salvation; I just doubted that much change was possible this side of heaven. If there was an “old man” and a “new man” inside me, the old man clearly had the advantage (Colossians 3:9). But that was just more escapist thinking because the New Testament tells me that salvation is a decisive shift from death to life, from slavery to sonship (1 John 3:14; Romans 6:6). While the tree of my life will always grow some thorns, I am fundamentally a fruit tree. In Christ, I have been genetically re-engineered to produce the fruits of the Spirit – and self-control is one of them (Galatians 5:22). Knowing that I am prone to shallow triumphalism (celebrating victory far too early), God reminded me via Scripture that sanctification (spiritual growth in this life) is a thoroughly progressive reality. Even though I believed that “nobody’s perfect,” I realized that I still expected to be sanctified right away. I was continually longing for a “silver bullet,” a quick fix, a shortcut, to slay my sin of procrastination, and this exposed the impatience and laziness of my unbelief in progressive sanctification. I didn’t want to do the work. I wanted God and others to do it all and allow me to celebrate the benefits and blessings. I needed to believe in the power of progressive sanctification: from an earthly point of view, people sanctify slowly. The promise of change that God has given us does not guarantee a great velocity, but a great destination (1 Corinthians 15:51-52).
